STORY INFO
Local Tongue
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Author
Chris Campbell
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Categories
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Danh mục
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Update
1 year ago
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Part Chapter
1/??
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Reads
620
Content
Travel Advice: Colourful language ahead. The hot setting sun momentarily perched on the horizon of the Australian Nullarbor Plain, as a sunset admirer raised a silhouetted arm to wave at the darkening sky. Uttering a blessing in his native tongue, he bid a fond farewell to another day and welcomed in the approaching night, while the haunting and captivating sound of a Didgeridoo signalled the not-too-distant presence of a local mob of residents gathering for a spiritual ceremony.The colour of the soil here in...
Outstanding reviews
Hi Chris,I adored that intense description of the scenery. The imagery was to die for-instantly transported me to a land I’ve only ever seen on TV. I agree with some of the other writers that it felt like a film, we slowly pan into the mini mart, not knowing the chaos that awaits us just around the corner. But isn’t that how life works? Your next call to action is just a slurpee away. Nice work!!
Amanda,I also see this as a short movie. After living in Oz for over 12 years, this was my first piece tackling nuances of the language spoken here. I find it very hysterical at times, so I plan on using the subject more often.Thanks for your great feedback.
Amanda,I also see this as a short movie. After living in Oz for over 12 years, this was my first piece tackling nuances of the language spoken here. I find it very hysterical at times, so I plan on using the subject more often.Thanks for your great feedback.
Thanks, Martin.Yes, the Minimart culture. Free daily entertainment. Just pull up a folding chair, open the popcorn bag and enjoy the show.Great feedback. I also can see this as a short film. So glad you liked the story.
You schooled me on this one. Great build up and color for the territory. I have never been in that part of the world and felt like I was there. Although I felt a little. Bad for those two guys I could see that they were survivors and they would be okay. Thanks for the opportunity to read this great story.
Arthur,Thanks for the great feedback. Yes, they're both survivors of an annoying syndrome that can be treated but not cured. So glad you liked it.
Hey there, Chris - Ha - loved the travel advice.Your first para sets an amazing scene. Well done on the specifcs throughout this piece, including the tone of the work.I felt the stress with Petey's tic ramping up; I thought that was a good technique.I swear, I think we all interpretted this week's prompt to be as foul-mouthed as possible ...The tone really called me to this piece, Chris. Extremely well done, emersive.R
Russell,Wonderful feedback. Thank you.There is comedy in profanity. I effin' believe in it.Tourette's is a favourite topic of mine. It's fascinating learning about all the different aspects of it. Even little habitual things we do, can fall under its banner. It's perfect drama/comedy muse material.
This work was grade-A, man. I can't see why you wouldn't win it or shortlist this week!R
Thanks. Let's hope there are no profanity police judges. 😂
Giggle - you and me both, brother :)R
The descriptive beginning was a bit much for me... it was like watching a BBC documentary... however I'm glad I kept on reading because the interaction of the characters (and the Emus) was absolutely hilarious! Well done! I'm learning so much by reading what other people are writing, and you've certainly shown me how to give characters their own "voice"!
Thanks for reading and commenting.I intentionally started it like a travelogue, so I could ambush the reader with the Tourette story. So glad you liked it and I'm very pleased to be considered an example of character writing.
😂😂😂😂I was in serious reading mode for the first part, really learning a lot and expecting an informative travelogue piece. And then...!!!Dialogue is hilarious. Dialect really comes through I could hear these guys like they were in front of me!I think there's an auto correct issue in one line it says created the bell instead of caused the bell. I think! Unless that's a regional turn of phrase!
Thanks, Derrick.Glad you liked my Nullarbor detour. Reedsy finalised it before I could get to that typo, but thanks for catching it. It should have read "causing the bell."
Yeah, nah mate, that was a tale an a half. Tourette’s times two with a riled up emu dad thrown in for good measure. One tends to underestimate the potential for death those birds deliver. Ornery and dangerous buggers. I would really like to know how you can get lost on the Nullarbor, it’s one long straight road from somewhere to somewhere else with nothing in between. Absolutely loved your set up, the descriptions of country and people so perfect. Then the action and dialogue so well constructed and dinky-di Aussie. Love it.
Thanks, Michelle.Yeah, it is difficult to get lost on that highway. Take away the power of GPS from anyone nowadays and force them to read a map, then see how they do. Especially, someone with anger issues. 🤣 It would be tantamount to telling someone in a round room to go sit in the corner.I once asked for directions in Ireland back in the 80s and was told to just "follow the road."Thank goodness that you're never more than 80 miles from the sea in Ireland. It lets you know you've gone too far!Much appreciate your wonderful feedback.
Really enjoyable read. As it began I was really settling in for a vivid location driven tale, but it kind of morphed into whimsy. Really funny at times. Loved the descriptions early on as well.Good job
Thanks, Chris.It was my little surprise to the reader.Glad you liked it.
Thanks, Chris.It was my little surprise to the reader.Glad you liked it.
Kevin,Thanks for the great feedback. Yes, it could have been a Monty Python sketch.Missing inverted comma now resolved. Thanks for catching that.So glad you liked it.
Just an excuse to use your native language?Just trying to tease you a little. Handled it with expertise.
What, Tourette's?Yeah, it's a favourite topic of mine. I once did a three-month study on it for another project. Lots of material to use.Thanks for reading and liking.
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