STORY INFO
10 Ways to Explain Your Husband's Death to Your Son
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Author
Zack Powell
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Categories
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Danh mục
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Update
1 year ago
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Part Chapter
1/??
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Reads
146
Content
Content warning: Themes of death***1. Tell the truthBe gentle but honest. This is your son's first time experiencing death, his only rodeo.He is five years old, wild-eyed and sugar-crazed and baby-toothed. A sweet boy. He doesn't complain about going to church or preschool. He picks up the toy cars in his room without being asked, lowers the seat after using the toilet. Some days you feel as though you've won the lottery.At night, he helps y...
Outstanding reviews
Woo! Congrats on the win :D
Thanks, Michał! And good luck this week - I really enjoyed your story.
Clapping
Excellent exegesis, Michael. Only umbrage I might take is the... harshness, implications, etc, of the word 'lie.'
Thanks! True, the word has some strong implications, and in an effort to tie everything together I might have stretched the meaning. I just found it very striking in the passage, "If you believe in something hard enough, it might stop becoming a lie." and rolled from there :)
Great story Zack. The hints at deeper emotions of sadness throughout were very well done, and I like how it slowly built up the backstory through a sort of flashback in most stages. The final paragraph is a brilliant metaphor for a longing that there could have been a different course and really projects the regret of the family winding up in this situation. The little arrows pointing toward alcohol problems are also handled in a tastefully subtle way. Congrats on the win!
Thanks, Scott! Wasn't sure if the backstory-flashback combination was going to work when I wrote this, so it's nice to see someone specifically mention it, and bonus points for mentioning the ending's metaphor. Appreciate you teaching me something new about my story. Good luck next week!
Congratulations on the win.. again!! Powerful story, wrought with emotion, beautifully written! Such a worthy winner!! Congratulations! Well done!
Thanks, Seán, and a very belated congratulations on your win last week too! I've got your story on my TBR list this weekend, and I'm really looking forward to it.
This is heartbreaking. I love the depiction of how feelings aren't linear; you can be mad at someone and still love them or at least be devastated by their death. The little boy's characterisation is also very realistic and makes your heart shatter.
Thanks, Rama! Love the phrasing on your interpretation: "feelings aren't linear." That's some great fiction writing advice.
Hey! Congrats on the win😉
Thank you, Rama, and good luck next week! I've got some high hopes for you.
Oh, thanks so much!
Oh, thanks so much!
Thank you, friend! The therapy session countdown thing is exactly what this one was modeled after, so I'm happy to hear you noticed it. And you're right, this is equal parts things said vs. things left unsaid. And somewhere in between those things realms lies the truth of what really happened.Thanks again for the thoughtful commentary!
Hit so many truths in the lies. My Ex didn't die but his affair was the talk of our small town because they were both officers of the law. I had four young children who had never seen us fight because we never did. Then he walked out. How do you explain where Daddy is?
That's one hell of a story, Mary. I can't even imagine what that must've been like, and in a small town too. Glad to see that you made it through such a hardship, though.
Thank you, JackYour comments mean a lot to me because you are so obviously talented. Quite a list of wins!
Thank you, JackYour comments mean a lot to me because you are so obviously talented. Quite a list of wins!
An amazing story. Great job
Thank you very much for the kindness!
Of course!
Another gorgeous story. It shows the true, honest feeling of loss form both sides of the spectrum: parent trying to help their child, and child simply trying to understand. The story is so tragic, the feelings are thrust forward by the second person point-of-view.Thank you so much for writing it!
Zack, I just read it again. Backwards. I feel obliged to tell you that I'm wont to indulge in hyperbole, especially when I'm... affected... But I'm pretty sure what we've got here isA Masterpiece,sir.Congrats. I know this work ain't easy. I know what that took outta ya.
I'm a bit late but loved reading this, I thought it was incredible and so well written.
Thank you very much, Jennifer!
I don't know what one say, great story
Thank you, Jeanette!
Hi Zack,What a beautiful piece of writing (as per usual!) and hearty congratulations on your well deserved win.Such an emotional story and so well visualised and told that I lived through every heartbreaking excuse and reason for not telling him - yet.Sorry I haven't been around lately to read and comment on your amazing work, it's been a hectic few weeks.
Thanks for the kindness, Charlotte! Hope you've been doing well - your presence has been missed on here. Always happy to see your name on my screen, and I hope your writing endeavors have been going smoothly.
Ok, so second comment I’ve made on this. I’ve re-read this story at least eight times, and this specific spot has been making me nearly cry every time. The Waffles part. I don’t know if you meant to base that off my username, but either way it makes me want to melt down every time. And I’m not sure why. Also, over 100 likes? Wow! Congrats!! Welp, thats it from me. Have a great day!!
That's a lot of re-reads! Very impressive. I did think about you when choosing the Waffles name, actually. (It was between that and pancakes, and we all know which one I went with.) Thought you might enjoy the reference.
Awww thank you! I love this story so much, and that referance :)
Great story! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for reading, Daniel! Much appreciated.
Great job with the story Zack! I personally am terrible with making short stories, I once tried to and stopped halfway at 8000 words! I always have so many ideas but never complete them, so happy that you were able to do so many. This story hit me hard, it was very well thought out and simple but so elegant and the same time. Keep writing!
What a beautiful comment, Olivia! I'm sure you're a lot better at writing short stories than you're giving yourself credit for. It definitely gets easier the more you do it, so I'd really encourage you to keep at it. You might just surprise yourself. (And if the short story doesn't work out, that 8000 word one could make a nice novella!)
Thanks for the advice and encouragement!
I really enjoy the fact that this short story reveals so much more about the narrator rather than the son! What a wonderfully written piece!
Thank you so much, Zee! What a nice comment. I'm glad that the decision to focus more on the mother sounds like it was the right one.
Very sad, but an enjoyable read. They picked a great one!
Thank you so much, Sarah! What a sweet comment.
=)
I love the line at the end, "You gently guide it and its imaginary passengers to safety. Set it down somewhere and let it go where it's heading until it reaches its final destination." It does a perfect job of relating to the husband's death and wrapping up the story. Great work!
Thank you, Ellis! I was worried that line in particular was either too subtle or too heavy-handed, so it's nice to hear that it was just right. Appreciate the kindness!
At first I felt the list idea was kind of quirky, I can't remember the last time I read a story in this format. I expected it to be comical maybe. But as I made my way down the list, it tug at my heart strings with more and more intensity, and in that last paragraph, where the mother guides the toy car safely away, had my chest squeezed tight. Great job, fantastic story!
Thank you very much, Daniel! This was intended to be a comical piece when I was writing it, as you were able to decipher from the beginning, but then things took a sad turn and I just had to go with it. Very relieved to know the last paragraph worked.Thanks again for the kindness!
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