STORY INFO
Echelon
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Author
Kris Hawkins
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Categories
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Danh mục
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Update
6 months ago
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Part Chapter
1/??
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Reads
31
Content
Leaning against a tarnished railing aboard a ferry, Katherine watched ocean waves curl into themselves. Close to her chest, she held a pewter urn containing her mother’s cremated remains. She breathed deeply, the taste of brine caking her tongue like damp ash. The midday sun reflected in droplets that quavered on the balusters, then trickled down like little rivulets, only to reappear from the periodic spray of waves breaking against the prow. Other ferry goers chattered around her, though Katherine was only vaguely aware of them. Her th...
Outstanding reviews
This story drew me in with the imagery. I loved the strong use of sensory language. I also really enjoyed the echelon parallel between the whales and Katherine with her own mother. The appearance of the strange beings came as a complete shock to me. Very interesting twist. I wish I knew what was happening in the minds of the other tourists!
Thank you for taking the time to read this 😊! I agree with you on wishing there was more exploration of the experience of the tourists...I wanted to explore that aspect of the story, but given length/time constraints I figured I should just hone Katherine's experience and let it imply toward the others'.
Definitely a wise choice! Congratulations on the win!
Loved all the ways echelon tied in: the whales, Katherine and her mom, the deer and even Melissa and her mom. The supernatural factor was a complete surprise! But in a good way. Well done!
Yay! I wasn't sure how the supernatural bit would land. I did a lot of work to make it feel organic to the story, but I think something like *spoilers* non-human intelligences providing a spiritual experience is asking a lot of the reader no matter how well you stitch it in; so I'm glad it didn't push you away from the story. Thanks for your thoughts, and for reading 😊
Well done on the win 🐳
Thank you 🐋🐳
Wow! Well written! Congrats on the win!
Thank you! 😊 much appreciated.
Well deserved win. 👏 Congrats.
Thank you 🙏🏻
You deserve all wins coming your way, great job 👍👍
Aw that's kind of you to say haha -- thank you so much! 🙇🏻
Very well written and quite moving!
Thanks Chuck! It's encouraging to know it had an effect on you 🙏🏻
Well done, I could feel all the emotions you described: Good win!
Thank you 😊
The tie between the echelons - the doe and her fawn, Katherine's mother even when her daughter is not near her - is just wow. Congrats on the win, and thanks for a story that made me want to hug my own mom!
Ahhhh this comment made me smile really big 😁 -- I'm glad the story inspired you to show love toward your mom 🫂
Congrats on the win! I can't wait to read more from you! The use of sensory language was incredible!
Thank you so much! 😊
Congratualtions on your win!
Thank you!! 😊
Congrats on your win! Beautiful story 😁
Thank you 😁
I was already deep in the story when it took this fascinating left turn. Very well written, and it kept my attention to the last period.
Thank you!! 😊 I've mentioned it elsewhere as well, but I'm glad the left turn drew you in as opposed to pushing you away -- I was really afraid the latter might happen when I submitted.
Such a beautiful story woven around the concept of 'the shared motherly instinct ensuring the child always survives'. Congratulations on the Win!
Thank you 😊
Super interesting. I really enjoyed reading your story.
Thank you 😊 I'm glad you enjoyed it!!
Thank you 😊 I'm glad you enjoyed it!!
Congrats on the win! 😁
Thank you J.D.!! I did research for this one. Once I realized Katherine was a cetologist, I was like, "well, I guess it's time to learn about whales" and ended up going down a rabbit hole that I really enjoyed haha. But I'm glad the info here felt like it belonged to the story -- I really wanted that section to characterize Katherine, especially in contrast to her mother in terms of the way they understand what it is to care for people/things.
Well, you did a mighty fine job! Congrats again. Research has always been an Achilles heel of mine lol, but it has proven to pay off.
Incredibly well done, and a well-deserved win.
Strange and shocking, informative and fantastic. I reeled around with this one. Thanks!
I can see why the judges crowned this as champion. Congrats! For me, it was the character work that stood out. I was on the verge of falling for Katherine when she announced that she didn't like men. Oh well, there are other fish in the sea...Cetaceans, too!
I applaud your descriptiveness, you laid on the emotions through the text like a bread knife on jam. You drew me in and gave me a feeling of warmth that excellent fiction produces. Congrats on the win
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