STORY INFO
Love in the Time of Asthma
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Author
Katy B
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Categories
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Danh mục
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Update
6 months ago
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Part Chapter
1/??
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Reads
84
Content
The mask swam elephantine and bug-eyed in the dark glass. After several years of passing the auto shop, whose empty windows were the only ones between the drilling fields and the motel left unboarded, Tommy still struggled to recognize the reflection as his own. He stopped absently to observe himself. It was dawn. The sun pink as a freshly peeled blister behind its film of dust cast downtown into streaks of gray shadow and warbled rose. It accentuated the muffled slurp of the mask, the clouds of dirt rising from the...
Outstanding reviews
What I love about the story is the dignity you provided to the characters. I think stories like this sometimes fall into the trap of centering everything around despair, and I was glad to see you finding ways to highlight their humanity.
Thank you so much for reading, Kevin! I dislike the ceaseless melodrama of a lot of apocalyptic literature and was inspired partially by Walker Percy's "Love in the Ruins" for this story :)
I tackled this prompt too. I can see you captured better than most. Congrats.
Thank you, Philip!
Well done Katy. Another great story. Not surprised, thought it might win!
Thank you, Derrick!
Great story! You took me right into the tale, into the characters’ lives with your excellent writing. Loved it Katy!!
Thank you so much, Anna!
Very bleak, very nice. Every part of this story feels like life fighting hard as hell against all odds. That's the conclusion, but it's also in every one of their actions. It's when he takes a risk to pick up the Object. It's with her obsessive cleaning, despite it being futile. Every step of the way is a refusal to give up. It's not exactly a happy ending. Introspective, perhaps. But it is lighter than the heavy tone of the world.Eye catching title too :) Thanks for sharing! ETA: congrats on the shortlist!
Thank you Michał -- and congratulations to you, as well! :)
Lovely grim bit of dystopia, Katy. "Pink as a freshly peeled blister" is very good, but did you mean marbled rose instead of warbled?Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Chris!
Thank you Chris!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment!!! I'm glad it resonated with you :) and congratulations on your shortlist this week!
Congrats to you as well!!
I felt a Willy Loman moment in this story. Tommy and Oscar and their relationship reveal were sobering when Oscar allows himself to be shown truly to the reader; Tommy supporting his wife and vice versa. Just well done. Despite being disparaging, having one another is better than nothing. LF6
Thank you, Lily! I really like the Willy Loman comparison :)
Thank you, Lily! I really like the Willy Loman comparison :)
Thank you, Kelsey! You've certainly been one of my favorites since Day 1 :)
Please ,please, please leave it as is. Near perfection as always.Congrats on the shortlist 🥳🎉🎉. You are always a winner 🏆.I have never won on Reedsy but I have some good news.I won my genre at Killer Nashville The Claymore Award this weekend. So I am way behind on my reading here.Thanks for reading and liking my donuts and Killer Nashville entries.
Thank you for the words of encouragement, Mary!
Fabulous. Heartbreaking of course and quite bleak. But they have each other, that's something. Like that you left the resolution regarding using the medicine or not up in the air I think you are missing the word 'hand' from when he drops the bag. (dropped from his right).Great writing Katy. As always!
Thank you for the kind words and for spotting that error!
Hi Katy!What a thrilling tale of hope! I loved that. This story was primarily focused on the family, and I thought that the conflict felt both tragic and realistic. I also really appreciated the incorporation of that song because it’s such a wonderful tune, and instantly gave me a sense of innocence surrounding your characters. Nice work and congratulations on the shortlist!!
Amazing Katy! I really enjoyed this read. ❤️A massive well done on the shortlist!!
//Edit: thank you all for the feedback, looks like I'll be leaving the story as-is :) The story was inspired by the very poor air quality where I live.//I'm not sure how I feel about this story. I've been struggling creatively and I really wanted to write something post-apocalyptic this week. This is what I ended up with. Please please please let me know any suggestions you might have.
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