STORY INFO
Mouse!
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Author
Michał Przywara
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Categories
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Danh mục
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Update
6 months ago
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Part Chapter
1/??
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Reads
139
Content
(This uses a triangular sequence to determine the number of words per line, and per paragraph https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_number. A couple of the longer lines seem to wrap as well - not clear how to resolve that with this editor.)Mouse!Inmy house.Iknow notwhence it came.Eyesbeady eyesglare a...
Outstanding reviews
CONGRATULATIONS MR. P…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
Heh :) Thank you, Deidra!
I keep finding your stories nice
mice?
This was so much fun to read. It looks like visual art too. I like the triangle pattern being part of the story in the imagery of triangles of cheese. Writing it must have done your head in, counting words each time. I’m not really a numbers kind of person so that would have irritated me. I’m interested in how you worked through the challenge, your process if you will. I totally admire the way you are able to make the bizarre so accessible for us mere mortals who enjoy your stories.
This was so much fun to read. It looks like visual art too. I like the triangle pattern being part of the story in the imagery of triangles of cheese. Writing it must have done your head in, counting words each time. I’m not really a numbers kind of person so that would have irritated me. I’m interested in how you worked through the challenge, your process if you will. I totally admire the way you are able to make the bizarre so accessible for us mere mortals who enjoy your stories.
Congratulations on the win!
Thank you :D
Thank you :D
Oh, that's a great take! But yeah - while we can absolutely live in harmony with other kinds of animals, it behooves us to remember they *are* different, and have their own ways of going about things.Thanks for reading this triangular story, Lily :)
Michal! This was honestly a delightful read. It actually made me think of an episode of "Cabinet of Curiosities" or the "Twilight Zone". While it's quite humorous, it also dances in the realm of horror. I really enjoyed the format! The triangle structure of the story matching the theme of cutting triangles of cheese was a brilliant and creative take on this prompt! Well done my friend! <3
Thanks, Hannah! Yeah, I can see some horror vibes :) The story is definitely a product of its form - I'm glad it worked out! A very unusual experiment this week.
Bravo sir for rising to this prompt. The lengthening sentences with verses building as they do actually works to create tension in this "kids" story. It's funny and foreboding at the same time. And a twist on the "cut off their tales with a carving knife" one might have expected!
Thanks, Laurel!It was hard finding a workable pattern for this prompt, but it was so delightfully weird I had to give it a shot. Glad to hear the story works!I'm not convinced it's my best prose - and there was a tendency to go to something more lyrical, except the constantly inceasing word/syllable count kept throwing that - but it was nevertheless fun.If anything, it underscored for me that paradox, where more constraints can free us creatively. Maybe it's because it changes the question from "what should I?" to "how should I?"
Yes! My first thought when I read the prompts was, "Uugh!" It felt so restrictive. Then suddenly, I had ideas for a bunch of different ways to do three of them and may still do a second story for fun (just not the math prompt. I leave that in more capable hands than mine). From my perspective, it was fun to do. I am not sure how well they read. Perhaps not the best prose or plots, but I know someone will produce a dazzler this week that will leave me in awe.
Hello Michal!Hola Michal!Greetings from the Philippines! First off, congratulations on a well-deserved win! The triangle format is quite a romp. At 71, I have only come across 4 kinds of cheese in my life. My cupboard of cheese vocabulary could not have accommodated more! As neither could my wallet. I am afraid that the rodents could eat me out of the house and home! The humor jumped at me like a weird guest who later became a welcome intruder! It reminded me to set more mousetraps tonight!
Hello Athena! Greetings from Canada :)"a weird guest who later became a welcome intruder" - that's a great description!Thanks for reading :)
Congratulations Michal. Not just a good story but a massive achievement from someone who cannot do math to save his life!
Heh, thanks Kevin :)
Hahaha! And that's just for the subject matter! I had Coraline in the back of my mind as I read this hip hop romp of yours. The construction was incredibly well-done; for me it was like taking in an entire world made up of Lego pieces all fitted together. I'm just not sure how you managed it, but I do know how much I enjoyed it. Great.
Thanks, Susan :) Now a story as Lego, that's a fascinating idea :)
I absolutely was lost in this story. What imagination!!! Spectacular! Fantastic job of drawing the reader in with anticipation and suspense.
Thank you Kerry! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
hahah! This was tremendously fun and cute, Michał! And technically demanding, but you certainly rose to meet the prompt, on this one! I also liked how visually pleasing it was. I gotta say, I wasn't a fan of this set of prompts, but the stories coming out of them are interesting and excellent. :)
hahah! This was tremendously fun and cute, Michał! And technically demanding, but you certainly rose to meet the prompt, on this one! I also liked how visually pleasing it was. I gotta say, I wasn't a fan of this set of prompts, but the stories coming out of them are interesting and excellent. :)
Agreed, I keep eyeballing those other prompts, but there are so many good things coming out of them already, I might just stand down and enjoy the show. :)
YESSSS! Congratulations, absolutely the right choice for the win this week. :)
Thank you, Wendy :D
I liked it and htink it was funny that the mice take all the cheese, and that the house is put up for sale with all the mice in it.
Thanks, Lizzy! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
How charming! Well done, Sir
Thanks, Sue! It was an interesting challenge :)
I really enjoyed this! I have many many many pet mice, and they can be quite demanding at times. Well done, congrats on winning!
Thanks, Kaelyn! It was fun seeing what would grow out of that first word, and gradually there were more and more triangles :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!
LOL, I love how this story starts low-key and funny and then slowly grows in a crescendo of anxiety until it becomes a proper horror story with the mice trying to kill the main character. Or maybe not... maybe it was only an empty threat; we'll never know. One thing is sure: the main character thought it was real. I love the distinctive voices of the mice and the man and how well the story's pacing in a way that keeps you on your toes. Excellent work!
Thanks, Giulia! It was a fun one to write - definitely an interesting challenge. Funny and anxiety was certainly the goal :)I appreciate the feedback!
Loved this one
Thanks, Dwayne! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Thanks, Dwayne! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Thanks Liv! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)You're probably right about animals - just as we adopt them, they adopt us. Especially if food is part of the equation :)You raise an interesting point about shock factor and R-rated things too. A good gory slasher can make an excellent horror, but on the other hand Shirley Jackson made a lazy afternoon gathering in a small town truly unsettling too. More challenging, like you say, but challenges help us grow.Thanks for the great feedback!
How you wrought the story was brilliant! you deserved the win! I also really liked the mice, and the story itself, it was very interesting, and fun to read.
Thanks, Kilroy! It was definitely a challenge, but fun to write as well. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
😍 it was a ggood book
Good job mr P 🥰😘🥰
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Wow!It's good.I enjoy it.Oh no.. a mouse!
Thanks Dragon! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
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