STORY INFO
Obsolescence
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Author
Ellen Neuborne
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Categories
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Danh mục
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Update
6 months ago
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Part Chapter
1/??
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Reads
95
Content
I moved the coffee pot back to its place three days in a row before Adam called me on it.“Erica, what is with the appliance musical chairs?”“That’s where the coffee pot belongs.”“That’s not an immutable truth.”Nothing was, apparently.I was cool when the kids nixed the mashed potatoes and green bean casserole for Thanksgiving dinner. I smiled and agreed to replace them with roasted cauliflower and shredded brussels sprouts. And thanked my lucky stars ...
Outstanding reviews
Hi Ellen!Oh my gosh! This was a great story. My favorite line was when our protagonist wondered when she last received a thank you. Oh my gosh! I completely felt that for her. I loved the man versus tech and I thought you did a great job of expressing to us why this power struggle was so important and how man, at least for now, remains more clever than the machines.
Heh :) Amusing and terrifying both. But a miserable situation is turned on its head when the protagonist realizes, obsolescence is something she shares with the machine. And then by doing something about it - learning new skills and reinventing herself - she discovers that perhaps obsolescence is a choice. An enjoyable story - congrats on the shortlist!
I like the structure of the piece a lot. It has the fragmented feeling of the struggle itself. Well done.
Thanks. Writing in snippets and remaining coherent is always a challenge! Thanks for reading.
This is brilliant. So funny and kept my interest. Would you mind if I shared it with my mother? She is struggling with this exact thing and I think she'd really enjoy it.
Of course. Let me know what she thinks!
Fine, fine work here. It holds interest to the end. Congrats.
Thanks for reading!
Welcome.
This story feels highly relevant. I like the direction you took it in—how Erica learns to use the tech to her benefit, how she learns to coexist with it.This was a powerful turning point in the story: “I stood there with my cup of cooling bitter brew and tried to remember the last time anyone in the house had told me thank you.” It did a good job seeing the time and guiding the rest of the plot. Great story—well done :)
When I read the news about AI, I think perhaps coexistence will be our best outcome ;) Thanks for reading.
This read with the perfect amount of cheekiness, that as a mother I found myself relating to it so easily.My kids were playing the original Nintendo this weekend and complained about the rectangular controllers and I just had to laugh. I really wanted Penny to tell Erica's family, "Your mother/wife walked so you could run!" I appreciated how Erica easily outsmarted her family and didn't try to outsmart the machine. Classic case of a mom using what she has in front of her. I can see why this story is on the rec list.
Rectangular Nintendo controllers! The horror! That's a funny story. I appreciate the feedback from another mama writer.
An unexpected turn of events! Well done. 🙂
Thanks for reading!
This was so interesting, a warning about what technology can do to a family. You did a great job of showing how technology was taking more of Erica's roles, and then how Erica reclaimed them. This felt especially relevant: "But one day, something new and cool and sexy will come along and Penny will be replaced."At first I thought Penny would eventually replace Erica, but I'm glad this story ended happily, with the family finding their dynamic again.
Thanks for reading!
Hey congrats on the shortlist!
Excellent story! I was so sad at her frustration in the beginning— it’s so real how family dynamics change and people start neglecting things they genuinely enjoyed and take real blessings for granted. But then the turn to how she adapted and ended up learning the things that she wouldn’t at first. I ended the story smiling. Nice work!
Yes, she adapted and overcame. Thanks for reading!
So glad this was shortlisted! Congratulations
This story made me smile so much, it's so smart, so many little mentions that are recalled, reflected emotions. So well constructed and three dimensional, full of heart.My little Star Trek loving heart grinned when Erica told penny to make it so.Just great all round. If you're not shortlisted it's cause you've won! 😉
I love all things Start Trek. But especially Picard ;) Thanks for reading!
Loved it!
Thanks for reading!
Best them at their own game. Supermom!Thanks for liking my fearful public speaking.Knew this was a great read. Congrats on the short list
Thanks for reading.
Archenemies turned partners. Way to go momma! Outwitting the newfangled thing to her own advantage. Love it!
Thanks! I had fun with it. Although I may be overly optimistic about our abilities to outwit the newfangled things these days.
They are becoming much craftier, aren't they? Thank goodness for the younger generation to help keep us sharp.
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