STORY INFO
slug/salt
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Author
Danielle Barr
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Categories
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Danh mục
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Update
6 months ago
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Part Chapter
1/??
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Reads
43
Content
Content warning: stillbirth, war She doesn’t know that I’m gone yet.I’ve never seen her before, not as anything but filmy shadows undulating behind creamy pink light, but I would know her anywhere.She’s beautiful; I knew she would be. I could hear it in her voice; the way it crackled with emotion as she sang the words of Taps to soothe the practice pains that washed over us both i...
Outstanding reviews
Totally agree! In this piece I think I was afraid that if readers lost sight of the prompt they may not realize that these are two different stories told by two different ghosts so I tried not to introduce any additional ambiguity. But simplicity absolutely is a challenge for me 😂
oh oops I definitely missed the two different stories, two different ghosts part of this... I found the story moving in its tragedy but also confusing.
Fine work. Congrats.
Congrats on another win. 🥳.
Oh man, this is intense. Poetic and so very poignant. Congrats on the shortlist. So well deserved.
Beautiful and moving piece Danielle. The language was excellent.
This is amazing. So gut-wrenching! I love the thread of Taps all the way through.My only critique would be the first part was a little confusing...it seemed the baby lived briefly to be able to see the Mom, but then it seemed at the end to have died right at delivery? But maybe the ghost saw the woman?I read your bio and we are kindred spirits- I too, try to write around raising five little kids! And I lived in Blacksburg, VA for four years! Would love to hear your feedback on my latest piece.
Galax, VA here!
Beautiful and heartbreaking. The image of the mother and child ridding the garden of slugs is such a childlike concept of death. Loved the line about their weapons being egg shells and coffee ground. Very sad story this week, but as always your perspective and beautiful language has delivered it to us so wonderfully.
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