STORY INFO
Teddy
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Author
Damien Exton
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Categories
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Danh mục
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Update
1 year ago
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Part Chapter
1/??
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Reads
171
Content
My name is Teddy. I’m ten years old and a demon wants to eat me. I can see it but nobody else can. I can talk to it but nobody else can. The demon screams at me at night but I don’t get scared. Even when I see spit drip from its sharp black teeth as it tries to bite my head off I’m not afraid. I’m ten after all. I’m not a baby. I can’t tell my mom or dad about the demon and they wouldn’t believe me anyway. There are rules that you have to obey when a demon owns you...
Outstanding reviews
Wow! Great story, Teddy.
😳 oh wow. I kept thinking it won’t happen, it can’t happen, Teddy will figure a way out of the age trap he’s in…but he didn’t. RIP Teddy
Wow, great twist that there was no twist. Brilliantly horrifying descriptions of what the demon will do. Not sure I will be reading to my kids at bedtime though!
Thanks M.A. Yep I did realise it was a bit gruesome while I was writing it. Not sure if I should be alarmed or not but I really did enjoy writing it! But also definitely feel sad for poor Teddy.Thank you for reading it!
Goodness! Poor Teddy!You did a fantastic job with the child’s voice, well done. I was not expecting the demon to get his wicked way at all…
Thank you Shirley. The idea for the story popped into my head one night but I didn't know at first how it would end. It kind of felt right and also felt very wrong how it did end. But I do really like the story in a dark way. I'm glad it is only a story tho!Thank you for reading and feeding back
My pleasure
This was great. Nice work finishing it from the demons point if view. It was effortlessly chilling.You did a good job capturing the voice of the kid as well. It would make a good children's story. If it isn't too scary :)Great work. Thanks for sharing
Thanks Tom. Funny you pick up on Teddy's voice, it was definitely the side that I had to put the most thought into. I wanted to try to convey his progressing age through the story. I read it back a million times and felt happy I'd given it a good go.Thank you very much for reading it Tom!
Yeah that definitely worked so the rewrites paid off. I need to try a first person child main character at some point. Looks challenging. I am reading a Charles Bukowski book at the moment. Ham on Rye. I am only a quarter of the way through, but one of the most noticable features so far is how well he captures the child's voice.
This is creepy af Damien. And gruesome and gory and full of dread. I loved it! Well done!!
Cheers Derrick! I wrote the first draft of it in bed at night - like I do a lot of the time. And yes, even though I was writing it it still gave me the creeps a bit. I do feel things quite easily and it affected me a bit while writing the story.Thank you loads for the feedback and taking the time to read it
Interesting what way you portrayed Teddy growing up.
Thank you Annie. I did feel for him
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