STORY INFO
The Driving Snow
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Author
Kyle Sager
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Categories
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Danh mục
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Update
1 year ago
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Part Chapter
1/??
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Reads
75
Content
I tied and untied my Converse in the passenger seat, knees tucked close to my chest and sitting very still in the empty Southwest High School parking lot. One by one, snowflakes fell from a gray and motionless sky, only to land and melt instantly on the windshield, transforming into nothing but a dot of clear liquid, almost as if it were raining. It was New Year's Eve, my last year of school, and...
Outstanding reviews
Hi, Kyle... you describe the pain of loss so accurately... you almost had me weeping. Just one loose end... what happened to the mother? Losing a husband is not enough to end up in a mental hospital. Shouldn't the main character be grieving as much for the situation her mother finds herself in?
I think that losing a husband could actually drive someone to the point of insanity- it all depends on the person and how well they're able to take the loss of a loved one.
Wow. Just WOW. I lost my dad, my greatest supporter, to lung cancer. I still can feel how tightly he gripped my hand and then let go…softly and slowly. I chuckle every time I see my dads legs sticking out of my body, his eyes staring back from the bathroom mirror as I brush my teeth. And when an underdog comes along and needs support, there’s my dad, right there without hesitation, but sounding an awfully lot like me. BravoKyle. I am following you now and look forward to more stories.
Wow, yep that's exactly the feeling I tried to capture in the end. Glad you enjoyed it!! Thank you.
Such a great piece of writing and a well deserved win! Life would be so much fuller if we all took the time to realize everyone around us was their own person, someone’s child, someone’s parent. You described the scene so well I almost forgot you were limited to the confines of a car. I felt like I was right there with Cosette, contemplating the nostalgia of childhood and the pain of grief. Great job Kyle!!
<3 KATE <3 you're the best thank you sm
Such a deserved win. This story embodies the idea of realizing that everyone is human, and everyone has been a kid. I felt like I was in the car with them, watching the snow coming down. I loved the way her dad talked to her especially how she differs from her sister, it’s so interesting to confirm that parents see you as two separate people, and that they actually notice things about us. Even her name and nickname is so in line with this story. So good.“It was New Years Eve for him too, after all.”
Congrats on the win. 🎉👏👏👏 You have been on here a while but don't contribute often. Just when you have a heartwarmer. I follow so many never get a chance to explore beyond those. Will put you on that list so I won't miss the next gem.
Aww thank you Mary!!
Yup. I love this story. You painted a wonderful picture about true life and put it in a great tale.. I am happy I had a chance to read it. Congratulations!
thank you arthur, it means a lot! glad you liked it.
This really encapsulates the way grief manifests itself in ways that feel so tangible. Congratulations. The story leaves a real impact.
Thanks so much Kevin :)
Excellent! This was a very touching story. It was so real. I lost my father ten years ago and it still feels like it happened yesterday. Wonderful job!
Thank you so much, I'm glad my story had a personal impact for you :)
Hi Kyle,Oh what a beautiful story. I had an ex who lost his mother at 15. That death hit me hard, much less what it did to him. You handled the prompt beautifully and wove in so many gorgeous details about winter that I felt physically cold. I loved that you zoomed in on a well know milestone for so many of us. Congratulations on the win!!
What a nice piece of work; loved how you were able to take us back into that time and place of youth, the nerves of driving tests (I personally hated them and failed a few haha). My only qualm is the instructor always sits in the front seat next to the driver. I dont ever recall one having sat in the back. Other than that minor detail (unless of course that actually happened but it would be rare) its a great sad little story with lovely and deep written prose. Congrats on the win well deserved.
Thank you so much!! Your words mean so much. I think that little detail may have been worded ambiguously - it was meant to be that as they switched seats, Cosette walked around the front of the car and the driving instructor walked around the back! I can totally see how that can be misconstrued though.
Oh good to point that out to me thanks; I am studying creative writing so I tend to notice things....... love the prose and tone as well by the way. I am following you now too.
Congrats for a well-deserved win! A touching story which touched my heart and left me wondering why everybody's life cannot be like the football player who enters the field, plays his game, and goes home! Your realization in the parking lot brought back memories of William Wordsworth's words, "child is the father of man."
Great masterclass in juggling different timelines and fusing them into a central track of tension (car ride). That's what I tried to do with my story (there's only so much you can cover from the inside of a car without going to flashbacks lol) but you did it great. The prose was stripped down and really let the emotion of the protagonist shine through. Good story.
Congratulations Kyle. Your writing is so vivid. It was almost like driving down memory lane. The main character recalls memories unfolding at each place she drove past. It felt very real.
Well deserved win! 😁
Grief is such a difficult thing to walk through. You captured it perfectly. Well-earned win with such a beautiful story, Kyle. Congratulations!
It's inspiring how she found strength, reslience and motivation (or the drive) to keep on going after such a great loss. The last paragraph is her victorious punch line.
It's inspiring how she found strength, reslience and motivation (or the drive) to keep on going after such a great loss. The last paragraph is her victorious punch line.
You put it perfectly. I live in my memories, so it tends to seep intensely into my writing. I think all the stories I've written here are woven with a sense of nostalgia. Thank you Ken, so happy you enjoyed my writing :)
Beautiful story! It had me sitting here with tears in my eyes hoping for some kind of closure for the main character. The heartbreak of losing a loved one, a spouse, a parent, or even a child is horrific and you detailed all of those "remember when's" so well! Following!
Very good story, I really liked how using the information provided I could really imagine the main character's situation and the cold day and the car and everything. Great job!
That story was cool keep up the goodwork😁
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