STORY INFO
The Lake
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Author
Kelsey H
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Categories
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Danh mục
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Update
1 year ago
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Part Chapter
1/??
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Reads
100
Content
The summer I turned sixteen and got my license, Kyle Lewis was pulled dead from the lake. It was the week before Christmas and heat pressed down over the town. People went to the lake to cool off, but Kyle didn’t drown. There was no water in his lungs.Coming back now, ten years passed, like always when I returned to visit my parents, I found myself slowing down when I reached the lake. The turn off was on the long road which led to their house and then on into town, and I felt myself pulled toward it, as if a magnet lay ...
Outstanding reviews
The way you sustained the tension throughtout was masterful. Just an incredible job.
Thanks for your comment!
Hello Kelsey,great story.You really deserved the win.I love how you finally revealed the murder at the end and all along drawing in the interests of your readers.Kudos👍
Thanks for your comment, glad you enjoyed!
I know I'm a little late, but I hope you still see this; your story was so, so good! Sometimes it can be hard for me to really get "pulled in" to a story, but you did it so well here. And I liked all of the characters (except for the bastard boyfriend), the father especially. I hope you write more :)
Thanks Mavis, I'm so glad you enjoyed the story and the characters.
What an excellent story and a well deserved win! Congrats. I loved that at first I thought it was the Ryan brothers, then the father only to to discover it was 'you'. Perfect!
Thanks, glad you enjoyed!
Thanks, glad you enjoyed!
Thanks Riel, I appreciate your kind comments. This was my first attempt at writing a mystery/twist ending story and it was definitely hard to write. I didn't actually think about the pull to the lake giving it away but I can see why you picked it up, have to include it though to fit with the prompt! I'm glad you still enjoyed the rest even though you had guessed it :) That line was my favourite too actually, for the same reason.
Congrats for the win!!! I feel like this was long overdue - so so well deserved 👏🎉
Thanks, was a big surprise to wake up to this morning (the email comes through at about 3am my time!)
It hit me hard too. So simple yet carries so much weight.
Great. Storytelling. I think it takes a lot of talent to give away the ending at the very beginning, but keep readers captivated enough to want discover what led to that ending. Your writing is smooth, an effortless read. You kept all your characters well organized and distinct, and the way you revealed the truth behind the murder was perfectly paced. And I enjoyed the theme of this fiercely loving family who are willing to do anything for each other. Great job.
Thanks, Aeris. I'm glad you though the way of telling the story in reverse worked. I was worried there might be too many characters by short story standards actually, so appreciate your comments on that!
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I was hooked all the way through. This was a great, suspenseful read. I had my suspicions that bounced back and forth as you revealed details. I love it and hope to read more from you.
Thanks for commenting, glad you enjoyed!
The story was great. You did an excellent job keeping the attention. Couldn’t stop reading. It was great how you drew the readers in with the suspense of who did it. Great job. Looking forward to reading more from w
Thanks for your comment, glad you enjoyed the story!
Dear author,I am quite taken with your story. I am impressed by how you hid the murderer and the murder weapon in plain sight. The narrative flows like water and is easy to follow, which is a difficult thing to achieve. I keep coming back and reading the story again and again, and each time I am just as impressed as the first.I really want to ask how you managed to stay on track and tie up all of your loose ends? really any type of advice on narrative would be welcome.
Dear author,I am quite taken with your story. I am impressed by how you hid the murderer and the murder weapon in plain sight. The narrative flows like water and is easy to follow, which is a difficult thing to achieve. I keep coming back and reading the story again and again, and each time I am just as impressed as the first.I really want to ask how you managed to stay on track and tie up all of your loose ends? really any type of advice on narrative would be welcome.
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and share your process. It's really insightful. I appreciate it.
This story!!! So masterfully written-the character, the plot, all the little details, the mis-directs, and the prose. It is rare to find a story that has all of these, but I have found it in this one. Thank you for a master class in short story writing (and also, incidentally, for commenting on Zack's story because that allowed me to discover yours). Can't wait to read more of your work, but first, I am going to go back and read this one.
Thanks so much Wally, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. It was my first go writing mystery so it was a bit of a struggle although fun to try something different!
Well you nailed it! Looking forward to reading more of your work.
Wow, what a gripping, engaging story. It was somber and I even imagined it in sepia colors, yet it was an edge-of-your-seat kind of thriller with heartbeat drumming in the background. Love the simplicity yet effectiveness of your prose. You really captured the ethos and pathos of the story arc. You have quite a skill for depicting that small town rustic scenery, and the slow but tense atmosphere that went with it. Love the development of your characters, understated yet seemingly painted in detail. Thank you for the great read!
Thanks Leo, really appreciate you taking the time to let me know what you think of the story. My favourite setting to write is a small town where almost everyone is connected in some way!
Thanks Leo, really appreciate you taking the time to let me know what you think of the story. My favourite setting to write is a small town where almost everyone is connected in some way!
Thanks so much for your comment Amanda! I love your comparison to a TV show, I definitely see the story in a movie (in my head) type way when I write. I love true crime stories so wanted to give it that sort of factual beginning to end type retelling.
Wonderful example of HOW the first sentence can already make or break a story from reader's perspective. Also, a style I appreciate reading, impressive.
Thanks so much for your nice comment, I always try to have the first sentence something which will catch attention, so glad you thought it worked here.
This story got everything that makes the best thrillers: Southern gothic-like atmosphere, believable characters who sidestep the "villain" cliches thanks to the emphasis on their human weaknesses and strengths, just the right amount of things left unsaid yet crystal clear (the sister "tripping" over the bench) and of course a very adroit, well-delivered twist. All the qualities of a great novel condensed in one great story. I hope you try your hand at a longer form, if you haven't already, because you obviously have the talent for it.
Thanks so much for your comment. I was aiming for a gothic sort of feel but wasn't sure if I'd managed to create it, so I'm very happy to hear you say that! It is definitely my goal to publish a novel one day, and what I have written does cover some of the themes in this story (though it is in fairly early draft form right now) so very much appreciate your words on that too.
Hello Kelsey,I was captivated right from the beginning , I could clearly picture the images in my head and I literally screamed when I found out that it wasn't the Ryan brothers but "you" .A great work indeed , you really deserved the win.Cheers.
Thanks for your comment!
Oh wow this is so dang good! So intense! You wrote this amazingly well. I did not see the ending coming at all. I love a story where an abuser gets what’s coming to him, too. Great job! Congratulations!😻
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Hi Kelsey H,Enjoyed your story so much I have selected it to be our story for our Literary Shorts group this week! We meet on Mondays at 1:00 pm. We usually start off by giving some background on the author. Could you please send me a brief introduction to you so I can pass it on to our club members. (We are becoming fans of Reedsy and the stories that fit into our theme of literary shorts.) You can email me your information to [email protected] if you prefer. Thanks. Pat Ruhe
Thanks for your comment! Sorry hope not to late with the intro, you can just use my profile if you want but that's about it, I live in NZ, I love to read and write in my spare time, though I have only started writing short stories since finding Reedsy. I enjoy writing family relationships and dynamics and that is what most of my stuff is focused on.
A well deserved win. I enjoyed the story too much to even try looking for any "errors" in writing, grammar, and what not. I bet you could turn this into a novella or mystery novel, and it would be just as good, only longer and more detailed. And I would be first in line to read it.Will have to read more of your work.
Thanks for your comment. I actually have an idea of turning this into a novel, so very glad to hear you say that!
Awesome. I hope.you post the chapters on here so we can enjoy the story as it unfolds.I did a novella here that has all the chapters on here. It's titled Special Ingredient, and that's the title of the first chapter.
This is really well written you make it look so easy. I wish I could write like that; A well done piece using the prompt and nice style, happy writing and a deserving win.
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This was an amazing read, would you mind if I illustrated this as if it were the book cover? I’m looking for short stories to practice illustrating and the visuals this gives me are beyond amazing. You truly are talented, I could not take my eyes off the screen.
Thanks for your comment. Yes that's fine, let me know if you have a website or something I can see it on!
You know I have read this story a few times, I’m just trying to get better, did you know exactly how you were gonna show the reveal, or did you come out naturally through process, like did you rewrite this at all? Just curious
You know I have read this story a few times, I’m just trying to get better, did you know exactly how you were gonna show the reveal, or did you come out naturally through process, like did you rewrite this at all? Just curious
Oh wow thank you for the detailed reply I really appreciate it. I definitely agree with leaving some stuff to the imagination. Yeah the timing of the reveal was great in my opinion and made sense. I feel like the narrator was like a traitor to the reader at the end lol like he knew the whole time.
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