STORY INFO
The Student's Struggle
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Author
Michał Przywara
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Categories
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Danh mục
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Update
6 months ago
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Part Chapter
1/??
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Reads
74
Content
Harvey Deenwaller really shit the bed when he tried out for the basketball team, because he forgot what we all knew: junior high school was bullshit. Trying leads to judging, judging leads to failing, and failing leads to being a loser. Of course we only heard about him, but it was all anyone talked about all day, and when we got into seventh period English we found out that Stacey McCain had seen it. She was ...
Outstanding reviews
Thanks so much!Yeah, "tries so hard" is right on :) Trying so hard to not appear like they're trying at all. It was a weird time of life.I'm glad you enjoyed it :) Thanks for the feedback!
Thanks so much!Yeah, "tries so hard" is right on :) Trying so hard to not appear like they're trying at all. It was a weird time of life.I'm glad you enjoyed it :) Thanks for the feedback!
Thanks, Mavis!I'm glad you enjoyed it :) "immature teenage boy" is precisely what the goal was. The story is fiction, but parts of it are inspired by real experiences and observations. Those years seemed like a natural fit for the prompt, once the idea occurred to me.I appreciate the feedback :)
I'm looking forward to more of your stories ;D
Me too! It was just right on!
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Heh :) Parts of it are definitely inspired by some real events, just not in this order, and all of these people are fictional. It's kind of a Frankenstein's monster of memories sprinkled liberally with fiction.I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Heh :) Parts of it are definitely inspired by some real events, just not in this order, and all of these people are fictional. It's kind of a Frankenstein's monster of memories sprinkled liberally with fiction.I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Heh :) Parts of it are definitely inspired by some real events, just not in this order, and all of these people are fictional. It's kind of a Frankenstein's monster of memories sprinkled liberally with fiction.I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
"Teachers are basically fascists" and, " I thought we were going to the mall but they’re all going to science after all and I asked why." 😂 Michal, these two lines basically tell you all about the MC's orientation (or lack of it ) in high school. And everything that unfolds from there on can only be attributed to the natural progression of the character. I thoroughly enjoyed the voice of this no-good, working hard in his dreamland and clumsy high-school kid( which is pretty much every high-schooler). Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Suma!Yep, I think you got the character :) Perpetually clueless, but unable to admit it, sounds about right.It was fun to write about, though I don't think I'd want to go back to those years.
Thanks, Suma!Yep, I think you got the character :) Perpetually clueless, but unable to admit it, sounds about right.It was fun to write about, though I don't think I'd want to go back to those years.
> it "has potential."Ha! Yes, that is definitely a lovely moment in life, one we all get to struggle with. Ego vs reality.You got everything I was going for :) And I'm so glad the voice was believable.Thanks for reminding me of dial-up, too. All those lovely moments where someone else would decide to make a phone call, and your internet capped out :P :) There's probably more stories in that.I appreciate the feedback, Aeris!
> it "has potential."Ha! Yes, that is definitely a lovely moment in life, one we all get to struggle with. Ego vs reality.You got everything I was going for :) And I'm so glad the voice was believable.Thanks for reminding me of dial-up, too. All those lovely moments where someone else would decide to make a phone call, and your internet capped out :P :) There's probably more stories in that.I appreciate the feedback, Aeris!
> it "has potential."Ha! Yes, that is definitely a lovely moment in life, one we all get to struggle with. Ego vs reality.You got everything I was going for :) And I'm so glad the voice was believable.Thanks for reminding me of dial-up, too. All those lovely moments where someone else would decide to make a phone call, and your internet capped out :P :) There's probably more stories in that.I appreciate the feedback, Aeris!
Congratulations on another shortlist, Michał! I was totally expecting you to win, but recognition is recognition, right? Well deserved!
Thanks, Zack!Yep! I'm not going to turn my nose up at a shortlist :)
The dialogue, the reactions, really put the reader there during that age, the struggles, the interactions. Well done! Such a fun read!
Thanks so much :)It's definitely a funny time in life. At least, looking back on it. In the heat of the moment it could be pretty stressful.I appreciate the feedback!
Thanks so much :)It's definitely a funny time in life. At least, looking back on it. In the heat of the moment it could be pretty stressful.I appreciate the feedback!
Thanks so much :)It's definitely a funny time in life. At least, looking back on it. In the heat of the moment it could be pretty stressful.I appreciate the feedback!
Thanks so much :)It's definitely a funny time in life. At least, looking back on it. In the heat of the moment it could be pretty stressful.I appreciate the feedback!
Thanks so much :)It's definitely a funny time in life. At least, looking back on it. In the heat of the moment it could be pretty stressful.I appreciate the feedback!
Another shortlist! 👊 Congratulations!
Thanks! :D
1) I like to remind other people that we should try to be closer to you with very upbeat comments that show that you read the story. You are a real class act.2) your ability to change voice in almost all of your stories is pretty awesome.
Thanks a lot, on both counts :)I find writing those comments helps me make sense of stories, and to get a grasp of what works and what doesn't. Considering the crazy amount of talent on this site, there's a lot of people to learn from.And I'm thrilled to hear the voices are coming through well. It's something I've been playing with more mindfully of late, so its good to know I'm on the right track.I appreciate the feedback, as always :)
"And isn’t that the coolest thing ever!? A story where a character in the story writes another story!" YES!! 🤩 And I love that this is said by the character in the story who writes a story about a character writing a story 😂These kids are chaotic, and the story reads like how I imagine the MC would write his diary if he had one 😃The ending was fun, and it was a great way to set the time by throwing a floppy in there. Not seen one since 2005 or so!
Ha, yeah, this is definitely diary talk :) Though you're probably right, I also doubt he keeps one.Floppy disks were an era, for sure :) I'm just glad someone gets the reference, maybe it isn't quite the ancient history I thought it might be. I wanted a break from cellphones, as they make things too easy for the characters.
So funny, loved the self-referential moments. A really entertaining and uplifting story and the characters were so authentic, I felt transported back in time.
Thanks, K.T.!I'm very glad to hear it sounded authentic :) Been a while since I was that age.Thanks for the feedback!
Been a while for us all! Haha.
Your main character was so believable. Your pacing, flow, and dialogue were great. Really enjoyed your story.
Thanks, Andi!I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
A rare blend of Holden Caufield and Jake Harper? I will be looking for "nervous breakdowned" to be added to Webster's. During my long ago high school years, only girls took typing. Then Miss Townsend arrived. Suddenly half the guys in the school wanted to take typing. The motivation was pretty obvious to everyone.
No doubt :) I'm sure many people have similar stories.If something of mine ever makes it into a dictionary, I'll call that a win.Thanks for reading, Murray, and for leaving your thoughts!
Unrequited love, schoolboy fantasies, rejection, and comraderie. You just about summed up life at school. The freedom to write at a young age lagged behind me for at least a decade after school, slowly catching up to the point that I'm now excitedly chasing the stories. I liked this. Brought a few ancient memories to light. Well done, Michal.
Yup, that's definitely what I was going for :)I'm glad you enjoyed it, Chris! I didn't really pursue writing at that age either, but it's one of those lovely hobbies that you can pick up and develop at pretty much any stage.I appreciate the feedback :)
I feel for your main character. Good job. Really felt like a young apathetic student just going through the motions hoping to survive school. Good job.
Thanks, L. E.!You definitely got what I was going for. Hopefully by the end he was knocked out of the apathy a bit, and saw there was value in trying, but who knows. That's a battle we all have to fight on our own terms.I appreciate the feedback :)
Thanks, L. E.!You definitely got what I was going for. Hopefully by the end he was knocked out of the apathy a bit, and saw there was value in trying, but who knows. That's a battle we all have to fight on our own terms.I appreciate the feedback :)
Thanks, L. E.!You definitely got what I was going for. Hopefully by the end he was knocked out of the apathy a bit, and saw there was value in trying, but who knows. That's a battle we all have to fight on our own terms.I appreciate the feedback :)
Michał,What a fun read :)I liked Linda's question marks--they gave everything she said an upward inflection like she's questioning everything slightly, which is a good trait for a smart kid. The 'Try, judgement, failure, loser' thing is so universal for everyone who's been at school. But I like that when the narrator does actually try, his friends actually don't see it as uncool. Nice job!
Thanks, Jim!Yeah, it was real fun playing with voices in this one :) You can get away with a lot of things you couldn't do if you were writing "as an adult", such as such as sprinkling "like" everywhere.> his friends actually don't see it as uncool. That's the other thing we all fall for, isn't it? We make way too big a deal of something in our heads, and reality is much less dramatic.I appreciate the feedback!
I can't do you justice, but great ode to budding youth, 'personhood?'So many great lines, if you were one of the 'good' bad kids that brought much flavor to the school years, you're still keeping the flame alive.
Thanks, Kevin!I'm glad you enjoyed it :)> 'good' bad kidsI like that. I don't know if I was either though. I certainly had my "trying is lame" phase though :)
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