STORY INFO
Theon the gemini
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Author
Malaika Shaikh
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Categories
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Danh mục
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Update
1 year ago
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Part Chapter
1/??
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Reads
74
Content
“Again.” Repeated more than 20 times in the past hour, Caelin was sick to her stomach of hearing that word. Theon rapped his wooden staff on the stone floor when she paused to breathe, she’d sprinted so many laps around the room that she’d lost count.“Did I say stop?” He growled. She gasped for air as nausea overtook her stomach. She didn’t even have time to warn Theon before she vomited all over the stone. Theon clicked his tongue and called for a servant to begin cleaning the mess. He approached her and sm...
Outstanding reviews
Yay, I love it when the underdog wins 😁This reads like an extract froma longer piece. Or if not, it definitely could be????On another note, I think this sentence could be improved by changing the word order : “Her mouth still lingered with the sour taste of vomit.” - how about ‘The sour taste of vomit still lingered in her mouth’ (Of course, that’s just me, so do feel free to disregard…)Keep up the good work, Malaika 👏
Thank you so much for your feedback, Shirley! I build off of these comments and always appreciate constructive criticism! Thanks again!
Brilliant story about grit and determination. Got me pumped!Thanks for sharing
A great story. I enjoyed Theon's advisor telling Caelin about Theon helped encourage her a bit, which resulted to getting Theon to smile.I would like to know what Theon meant by his purpose, but the more important part of the story was Caelin showing she was stronger than Theon thought!
When Theon said “She is my purpose” it was meant to imply that though Caelin was the weakest, she was the trainer that interested Theon the most, and he was set on making sure she became the strongest she could, even if it infuriated him. Thank you so much for your feedback!!
I really enjoyed this story; thank you for posting! You gave me a protagonist I was really rooting for!
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