STORY INFO
image

Walking to California

Content

Kendra finished her search in her deceased grandfather's quarters. She went to relieve 'Lena leading the oxen pulling the wagon. “I'll want to look a little deeper through some of Pappy's things but I found enough for tonight with the wagon master. I'm gonna let you start on the bread and anything else you plan for supper. Hope it's okay I leave that up to you.”“Dat be no trouble 't all. Yu uns havin' su...

Outstanding reviews

Said I wasn't gonna do this again but time has been short this week and mind blank so I tweaked a bit of my 'award winning manuscript' to enter this prompt. Might not work perfectly as short story.
Hi Mary!I was delighted to get to read a bit of that award-winning manuscript! And I can certainly see why, because the dialogue specifically was beautifully crafted. I found it incredibly impressive that you managed to create this scene so beautifully. Nice work!!
Thank you kindly!
Ah, another western vignette! I missed this one a couple weeks ago, looks like. Looks like Kendra is getting a handle on things. Nothing is certain yet, but at least there are some plans, and some concrete actions being taken. And Marcy seems promising as an ally... and perhaps more *wink wink nudge nudge*. "Brilliantly scathing idea?" - I've been wondering about "brilliantly scathing" for a while, and now it looks like we get an explanation. The grandfather's legacy lives on!
Thanks for liking and commenting so favorably.Wink,wink,nudge, nudge😆☺️
I can really hear your dialogue in my head 😊
Thanks.
So delighted to see the continuation of the saga! You excel across genres, but this is how I first encountered your work. As always, nicely portrayed, nicely done!
Thanks for the compliment.
Nice snapshot, and the dialogue really gets you right into the world of the characters!
Thanks for liking it.
This world is so complete and believable and this extract makes me believe the full novel must be absolutely epic. Thanks Mary
Thanks, Derrick. Means a lot to me that you enjoyed it.
I loved the dialect- and interested in the longer work!
Thank you. Trying to get it out there.☺️
Thank you. Trying to get it out there.☺️
The prompts this week really testing our craft and I didn't feel I had time to devote to needed creativity. Working on query letters and contacts besides having company and helping my sister clear out her storage unit. My mind is overwhelmed. But thanks for liking this piece of the whole.
So, who’s Toby? You may may have to add a part two.😊
So, who’s Toby? You may may have to add a part two.😊
Interesting and creative description of a moment in time. I gave up on trying to write dialect a long time ago....to hard to keep it consistent throughout, but you did a great job. Nice.
Thanks for the complimentary comment😊
I always enjoy reading your work. Everything you present, reads like a movie script with such evident and descriptive visual cues.; I see your story in my mind. Great characters!
Such nice comments.
As a short story I feel it head hops too much with the POV, but I know this is a slice of your larger tale, so I read it with a different mindset, because I know where it’s come from and where it’s going. I enjoy theses characters and their adventures.
Is that hops around too much from POV? Have time to tweak a little more. Glad you enjoy these folks.
I like the piece. Just thinking that because I’ve read the longer work I understand who these characters are, where as someone who hasn’t read it might get confused with the multi POV.
Not much time this week but will see if I can change something 😕.
I don’t think you need to change it, I don’t mean that it’s not good, it is a great scene. I’m interested in what people who haven’t read the whole work would say, I just read it with a different perspective.

TOP Story

Local Tongue

483 Reads
Chapter 1 12 minutes ago

01

Black Christmas

468 Reads
Chapter 1 36 minutes ago

02

Over These Still Rising Waters

465 Reads
Chapter 1 59 minutes ago

03

Life Line

392 Reads
Chapter 1 1 day ago

04

The Consortium Library

309 Reads
Chapter 1 1 hour ago

05

On the Job Training

303 Reads
Chapter 1 1 hour ago

06

In Hell

277 Reads
Chapter 1 1 hour ago

07

The Clock Strikes Glick

274 Reads
Chapter 1 1 hour ago

08