STORY INFO
Worst First Vacation
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Author
Michał Przywara
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Categories
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Danh mục
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Update
1 year ago
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Part Chapter
1/??
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Reads
83
Content
Aiden took a steadying breath, downed the double shot of rum in the plastic cup, swiped his key card, and pushed the door open. He tossed the cup on the floor, and grabbed the shovel he borrowed from the groundskeepers, with both hands. Now or never, he thought, as he entered his hotel room.His flip flops squeaked on the vaguely sticky floor, and his heart hammered in his chest. And he was sweating.“Hello...
Outstanding reviews
Former librarian here, reporting that the following -“The library?” asked the receptionist. “Did you mean to ask, ‘Where is the beach?’ Or do you really not know how to vacation?” followed by Aiden reflecting on doing something "vaguely cultural" - is just hilarious.An enjoyable, light-hearted approach to the prompt. And seriously, making plans to get together again in a year is classic.
Glad you enjoyed it, Laurel :) I think there was a future for an alternate ending, where they would continue meeting up year after year, but that sounds like a different story. Maybe something to revisit in the future :) I appreciate the feedback!
Actually, that is a capital premise. Don't know if you write, or contemplate writing, novels, but that would make a great one. But as you say, a different story.
Indeed I do :) And this one's gone onto the (ever growing) idea pile. If only novels could be fired off one-a-week :)
Indeed I do :) And this one's gone onto the (ever growing) idea pile. If only novels could be fired off one-a-week :)
That’s a good question - and yeah, I pictured it as a financial matter. Maybe the resort's in roaming territory, and he has a terrible (or no) data plan. I don't know if cellphone plans are horrible everywhere, but they're not great in Canada. Anyway, I don't think that's clear in the story, so thanks for pointing it out! Something to address if I revisit it. I'm glad you otherwise enjoyed it, Debra :) It was certainly fun to write. I appreciate the feedback!
I haven't been on this site very long, but you've already solidified yourself as one of the writers whose stories I always look forward to reading. Good job!
Thanks, Kailani! That's encouraging to hear :)
A lot of subtle and unsubtle humor in this story. I'm amazed at your creative output. A lot of the prompts leave me baffled or underwhelmed, but you always seem to come up with something unusual and entertaining.
Thanks, Ken! I know that feeling well, and some weeks are a slog. I figure it's easier to start with a bad idea though, than wait for a good one, as you can usually massage the bad into workable.Glad this one landed - appreciate the feedback!
Herbert went from villain to not a bad dude and then I felt sorry for the poor ghost. Good story, love your humor you scattered about. Good story Michal !
Thanks Bob! Yeah, I think there was more to him than his initial gruff exterior. Mind you, it might get irritating haunting a room, and constantly having random tourists get booked there :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Great story. I was just getting into the whole haunting when you hit me with "open bar doesn't come with an obligation".....BEST LINE EVER!
Yeah, it's all too easy to overindulge :) Thanks for reading, Myranda - I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Some good jokes and a great punchline ending. I like the description of him being all pale, except for his shades which are slightly less pale. Just a throwaway line, but an excellent little funny detail. Good stuff, Michal.
Thanks, Chris! Glad to hear that one landed :)
“All-inclusive courage” — love it! I used to go to a lot of conferences, and there is something vaguely nightmarish about enjoying decadence alone. You feel the compulsion to just keep indulging until it becomes almost despairing! This was truly hilarious, and the aspect of the Winters’ clan adds a great almost Jordan Peele/Ira Levin touch! Love to see this adapted for a Black Mirror or AHS! And “Fancy a porno?” makes me think Ricky Gervais might make a great Herbert.
Thanks, Martin! And yeah, "compulsion to indulge" sounds right on. After all, you paid for it so it would be a waste not to - even if that's not the smartest or healthiest decision. So it goes :)I appreciate the feedback!
A refreshingly novel take on a haunting.I especially like the banter between Aiden & the receptionist about asking the way to the library 😂 And also, it was just THE perfect ending to the story for Herbert to simply disappear with a « pop »
Thanks, Shirley! Yeah, I thought it was a fitting end too :) Can't let characters get too comfortable :)
Exactly right 😂- Keep ‘em on their toes!
I feel the moral of the story is…book a vacation 😄Herbert made me think of Beetlejuice, an interesting ghost with tricks up his transparent sleeve! Funny story, with an ending that really popped. 😝
Heh, good moral :) People rush too much :)And as a fan of Beetlejuice, I'm digging that comparison. Glad you enjoyed it, Nina!
Really enjoyed this fun read. So much plot and characterisation packed in, with a satisfying ending.
Thanks, M. A.! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Thanks, M. A.! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Thanks, M. A.! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
I'd say fabulous ending! I wonder if Aiden can still get the cheap suite price AND enjoy the no-longer-haunted suite? I wonder if he'll come back in a year, despite Herbert being gone. To remember him, while enjoying the discounted rate, lol. Writing should be fun! At least sometimes, lol. Other times, there's a lot banging on the keypad and then holding down the backspace for a long time. Both are fun in their own way. But it's a lot more satisfying when you end up with a story as awesome as this. :)
Great story! Poor Herbert, finally got to have a little fun, and…POP!
It's too easy to overindulge on vacation :)
Among all funny-bone ticklers, my favorite might be the fact that Aiden was determined to stay in his haunted room because of the "the power of cheap." The plot is hilarious by itself, but all the little pokes at culture make it that much better. The ending was also perfect.
The power of cheap is mighty indeed :) Glad you enjoyed it, RJ - thanks for reading!
Still laughing, but poor Herbert, though I can see why he had to be sacrificed. This perfect story wouldn’t have been as perfect if it had ended any other way. Thanks Michal! (:
Thanks, Karen! Yeah, alternate endings came to mind, but I think this one fits. Can't have the characters be too happy, need to keep them on their toes :)
Thanks, Karen! Yeah, alternate endings came to mind, but I think this one fits. Can't have the characters be too happy, need to keep them on their toes :)
Thanks, Karen! Yeah, alternate endings came to mind, but I think this one fits. Can't have the characters be too happy, need to keep them on their toes :)
Ha! I work for the news. And I live in America. Send help. 😅 Thank you for sharing that you struggle to write intense stories, that’s truly encouraging. I feel bad because I’m bad at writing humor! Mine comes out all twisty and dark and then not humor at all but some sick cynical creature who makes everyone question what we’re all really doing down here. 🤦♀️Catch you on the flip side!
I laughed out loud at the paragraph that begins "Dude, I got no idea." You always do such a good job of having the characters all talk like themselves, and unlike each other. You've got a great cast of quirky personalities here.
Thanks, Kathryn! Very happy to hear the voices are distinct :) Always something I keep in mind, and it's good to know when it works out.I appreciate the feedback!
Sure Herbert didn't want everything to be resolved because he was afraid of where he would be spending his afterlife having lived a rough life. But, hey, life's a beach.
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